How My Big Brother Jim Got Tooken By Uggo Grey Aliens and How I Got Him BackJaxon Schock

Hi my name’s Leroy and this is the story of how my big brother Jim got tooken by uggo grey aliens and how I got him back. That last part doesn’t come until later though.

It starts with Jim and me getting yelled at and kicked out the house, just for some stupid prank that was all Jim’s idea. He thought it’d be funny if we woke up Pop with a string of firecrackers under a little metal pot in the kitchen. Said if it sounded enough like gunfire, it might trigger his “P T S D” from that one war he fought. Whatever that means. It didn’t really do much but make him shoutin’ mad. He even shouted at me even though I didn’t do nothing wrong. That was kind of annoying.

Anyways, that’s when he kicked us out the door. Said if we were gonna keep blowing shit up, we were gonna have to do it outside. Jim tried to tell Pop that was his last firecracker, but he wouldn’t listen. We were stuck outside till Mama was done with dinner.

Jim said “How are we supposed to have any fun now?” Then I saw a big lightbulb go off in his head. He ran off to the shed and I knew what he was going for. He came back with his BB gun. Jim said “Let’s play hide-and-go-shoot!” and I told him what a terrible idea it was, especially since we just got in trouble with Pop, but he didn’t listen. Jim never listens to me. He thinks just because he’s bigger than me he gets to boss me around. I love my big brother but sometimes he can be a real jerkweed. 

Jim closed his eyes and started counting down from twenty. Said that if I didn’t even bother to run off and hide, he’d blast me away point blank. I guessed I’d oughta run and hide, and so I did. There’s not a lot of good hiding spots outside around our house, other than the big ol’ cornfields. So I ran and ran and ran deep into the big ol’ cornfields and plopped myself down to hide. If I was lucky, maybe Jim would get lost in them and wouldn’t be able to find me and try and shoot me. I was praying and praying he wouldn’t find me, and I guess Jesus listened to me for once cuz he didn’t find me even after like forever. I actually got kinda nervous cuz the sun was starting to go down. Mama almost always had dinner ready before sundown but Pop hadn’t come out to get us like usual. 

So I was lying there in the corn thinking about dinner and why Mama and Pop hadn’t come to get us yet and how scary it’d be out here after dark, when I seen the craziest thing in my whole entire life. Way off into the fields I saw a big, shiny, flying saucer-looking thingy come into the sky from outta nowhere. Then this big white beam of light came down from it and my big brother floated up towards it.

“Jim!” I ran off after the saucer. Jim was inside the ship now and the aliens were probably about to eat him. I had to be fast. It’s a really good thing I’m so good at running cuz I caught up to the darn thing lickety split. I almost nearly tripped over Jim’s BB gun in the dark though. Ol’ Butterfingers must’ve dropped it. I picked it up lightning-quick and aimed it real good at the aliens’ UFO. Jim is lucky that I’m so good at shooting too, because I shooted at the flying saucer and hit it right in its weak spot. It stopped flying for a sec and had a bunch of different color lights going crazy from it like a Christmas tree. Then it floated down down down into the cornfields. 

I walked up to the alien UFO. A big door opened with a bunch of bright light coming out and these two shadowy things walked out towards me. It was the aliens. But the aliens weren’t cute like E.T. They were uggo, grey aliens—just so you know, uggo means ugly, and grey aliens are just like normal aliens, ‘cept in that they’re grey.

“Let my big brother go, you uggo grey alien slimes!” I said all tough-like and pointed the gun at them. I bet they were real scared, but I couldn’t tell for sure. They didn’t talk back at me in American, they just made a bunch of weird sounds. I made weird sounds back at them. They didn’t seem to like that. 

One of the uggo grey aliens had a remote with a big red button on it. When it pressed the button, the aliens and the UFO glowed really really bright green. Then all of a sudden they were gone, and all that was left was my big brother Jim curled up on the ground like a baby.

“Jim! Are you OK?!” I said. He didn’t say anything, didn’t even move. He was having a big snooze, the kind Pop liked to take. I ran over and shook him awake. “What did the aliens do to you? Did they hurt you? Did they try to eat you?” I asked.

“What’s wrong with you, Leroy?” he said back to me. He didn’t even know what I was talking about! He didn’t remember anything about the uggo grey aliens or getting tooken up into their big shiny flying saucer or any of that stuff. I told him everything that had happened on the walk back home and he just looked at me like I was crazy. Dang aliens must’ve done wiped his memory or something. 

Jim and me were late to dinner of course. The food was cold, but Mama’s cooking isn’t much good warm anyways. Mama was upset that we got back so late. Pop was just glad he got his nap. While we ate, I told them about the adventure that Jim and I had, and the whole story they just smiled and nodded and laughed. I could tell Mom and Pop didn’t believe any of it. But they don’t even believe that Neil Armstrong actually went to the moon, so … what do they know?